Buy The Bloke's Bike!!

The Bloke is an avid bike rider. Every year he sells his old bike and gets a new one. This is your opportunity to own a bike The Bloke actually rode! His bike which, of course, is priceless is available on eBay. The bike itself has a estimated sentimental value of $999.99! We can only assume it will sell very quickly.

Excuse my pig, he's a friend!

One autumn The Bloke was wandering the countryside. He happened upon a pig farmer. He noticed that the farm was empty of pigs. He asked the farmer where all his pigs were. The farmer replied "When it starts getting this cold outside I bring them in the house to stay warm." "Pigs! In the house! What about the smell?" The Bloke asked. "Oh, well they'll soon be used to that." the farmed stated.

Win a Day With The Bloke!!

That's right folks. You can win a day at the bike shop with Geoff Paterson. The rules are simple: If you can correctly translate Geoffrey's hand writing from the image below you can win the grand prize of hanging out with Geoff for a whole day.



Please send entries to: theblokeinomaha@gmail.com

I don't know whats happening, but I'll stay on the line to find out.

Geoffrey has the most unusual phone etiquette. Generally when Geoff is finished repairing a bike he'll call the person and tell them the total. One morning, the bloke, in his usual form misplaced the work order as he called the customer. We can only imagine how the customer felt when they answer the phone only to hear "Marge?! Your total is...hang on a second." than to be placed on hold, to have no idea who called, or why.

"Nice guy..."

"Is that the last Klondike bar? Well I hope you bloody choke on it brother. I don't wish you any harm, just that you choke on it."

Walter!...Ya Know H2O!!

At a restaurant looking for a bit of hydration the bloke asked the barmaid for some "Walter". After several attempts to explain what he wanted he finally yelled "Yeah Walter, You know H 2 O!" He later lamented that he was "batting a thousand with this dummy, she probably doesn't know what H2O is...what do you expect from Billy Frogs."

He told ya so...

As many of you know Geoff is always right. If you asked the bloke he'd explain "I'm never wrong. The only time I was wrong was when I thought I was wrong, but I was actually right." This comes in handy when it comes to predicting the weather. Once during a rainstorm, the bloke mentioned that "it might rain later." He was right again...